I originally titled this post: “Completely Bonehead Move with a Happy Ending…” but once the dust settled from the experience I realized that there was something to be learned, particularly if I refrained from traveling the easy path of self-judgement.
I’ve been writing a lot about my relationship to stuff and continuing to take actions to lessen the inventory of belongings. I am also pondering my need to cart stuff around with me, such as my MacBook, which compared to Ipads, etc. is big, clunky and heavy. What’s it about? Security? Fear of boredom? Preparedness? Not sure, though I am beginning to see that I want to change the behavior and see what insights might arise. To support this my dear pal, A, has offered me the use of her iPad the next time I visit her in NYC.
Here’s the tale:
On a recent Friday afternoon I met a longtime pal, P, for coffee at Grand Central Station, a convenient stop on the way to our respective homes. There’s seating on the lower level where we found a table for two beside a homeless couple who were enjoying cocktails from a paper bag and arguing with an imaginary person.
After one particular outburst I glanced over and looked at them, studying their appearance and interaction.
After about 45 minutes P and I left the area and went upstairs where we said our goodbyes and asked a random person to take our photo, all of which took approximately 10 minutes. As I was checking the train schedule on the big board I realized I didn’t have my backpack containing my laptop, that I had left it on the floor under the table downstairs……. SHITE!!!
I RACED back downstairs to find new people sitting at both tables, and no backpack. I asked if they had seen the pack and/or the people and they had; the homeless woman had taken it just a few minutes before my return and they pointed in the direction she had gone. My heart was pounding and I was praying for calmness and clarity about what to do and where to go.
I thought my laptop was gone for good but my feet kept moving. I began with the nearby ladies room and scanned under the stall doors looking for the pack (nothing but feet) then ran up the nearby stairs to the Metro North headmasters station where I was directed back downstairs to the police station on the opposite side of the building. As I was heading toward the police station my intuition told me that I was moving away from the area where I might find that woman and I had a strong sense that the trail was going to get cold very quickly so I stopped and turned around and there, at the spot I had just crossed 3 times, I found her standing still in the midst of the hustle and bustle.
I asked her if she had seen my bag ~ yes, a very nice woman took it
Can you tell me what she looked like? ~ I only know that she was black.
Do you remember what she was wearing? ~ No… I don’t remember
Would you mind coming to the police station to help me find her? I knew she wouldn’t come with me and looking back I think I was just buying time while I figured out what to do or say next.
There was a brief pause as we stood there looking at one another and it was then that I noticed she had a denim jacket over her left shoulder and dangling out from under were the straps of my pack….I stepped toward her and asked “Is that my backpack?” She innocently replied…“Oh, THIS backpack?” as I slowly and gently slid it off her shoulder. There was no resistance on her part. As I slung it over my shoulder, I looked her in the eyes and said “You were right, she was a nice woman” and I walked away with my heart in my throat…Thank you, God!
The whole scenario seems so scripted, which supports my budding belief that everything is planned out by a greater force than me. The things that stand out the most to me are 1) the moments that I studied her appearance so that I could later recognize her 2) my gut instincts were right on when I turned away from the police station and 3) the fact that he didn’t leave the area or at least hide the backpack. So, while I admit that leaving my backpack on the floor in Grand Central Terminal was a bonehead move, berating myself won’t move me closer to self knowledge which is what I am after on this journey through life.
Constructive outcomes of this experience: Back up my laptop (done), leave it at home more frequently (on going), check the area when I get ready to leave a public place (on going),
…and last but not least, Give Thanks ~ DONE!.
CARPE DIEM!
The Happy Yogini